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From Cant Smile without You.
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Harry Redknapp: “For f*ck’s sake!”
Kevin Bond: “Everything alright ‘Arry?”
HR: “No, just been on the phone to Levy. Spoke about transfers, I want to bring some quality in the squad. Go all out for proven lads like Parker, Joe Cole, Bellamy y’know. b*stard laughed at me, said no and called me a wheeler dealer.”
KB: “Oh right.”
HR: “I’m a f*cking football manager Levy, f*ck off.”
KB: “Erm, I’ve got the City scouting report here for you here.”
HR: “Put if over there next to that tactics board and the rest of the crap.”
KB: “Alright.”
HR: “I don’t understand what’s wrong with that Levy. He’s obsessed with wage structure and re-sale value, it’s infuriating. Sometimes I wish I was back at Pompey I really do. They would have signed Joey last season when he was available on a free.
KB: “He turned out a little bit sh*t though…”
HR: “Not with me Kev. I’ve known Joey since he was 11, I could have got the best out of him. Top, top player.”
KB: “Right, ‘Arry.”
HR: “and Scotty Parker’s Jamie’s best mate. Player of the season. Another top, top player that Levy wont shell out for. I tell you Kev I’m running out of excuses to tell the media as to why we’re not signing these players.”
KB: “Must be tough.”
HR: “It bloody is, we need to find a way to make Levy pay up.”
KB: “I might have a very cunning plan.”
HR: “Suppose I’m desperate, lets here it then.”
KB: “Just a sec let me get the scout report on City.”
HR: “What the f*ck are tactics going to solve?”
KB: “No ‘Arry don’t worry, you wont have to think about tactics, quite the opposite.”
HR: “What the hell do you mean Kev?”
KB: “Well you see City, they’ve spent loads of money so are actually very good now. Maybe we can use that to our advantage by showing Levy how much better spending loads of money can make you.”
HR: “That’s just common sense Kev.”
KB: “So if we let City spank us then that will show Levy that we really need these players that you want.”
HR: “But how do we do that?”
KB: “According to the scouting report City’s strength lies in midfield. They’re likely to play David Silva, Sergio Aguero and new signing Samir Nasri who all like playing in between the line of midfield and defence. If we leave large open gaps there then they will cause havoc in the space they leave.”
HR: “Alright, but how do we give them all this space?”
KB: “Play Kranjcar and van der Vaart in centre midfield.”
HR: “I like it. But I’ve already told the papers that Modric will be playing. I can’t back down on that I’ve got a reputation to uphold you know.”
KB: “That’s fine just play Modric and Kranjcar in the middle. They will still get overrun if we keep Aaron and Gareth out wide.”
HR: “Alright, so if we get over-run in midfield that will show Levy that he needs to go out and buy Parker.”
KB: “Exactly, and there’s more.”
HR: “More?”
KB: “When I’m getting the lads warmed up later I’ll leave a couple vital stretches out so they will become susceptable to injury.”
HR: “We’ve tried that in pre-season Kev, we’ve got about ten players out and Levy hasn’t budged.”
KB: “But if we lose Rafa and Niko then Joe Cole would be a natural replacement for them.”
HR: “That he would.”
KB: “And say we lose one of our wingers then Bellamy could replace them too.”
HR: “It’s perfect. But if we get battered then wont that look bad on me?”
KB: “Nah just blame Levy not spending any money, maybe pre-season too. Definitely blame Modric. Give them another line about his head not being right, they love all that.”
HR: “You know what Kev? I knew there was reason I keep you about, Triffic.”
http://cswy.wordpress.com
Harry Redknapp: “For f*ck’s sake!”
Kevin Bond: “Everything alright ‘Arry?”
HR: “No, just been on the phone to Levy. Spoke about transfers, I want to bring some quality in the squad. Go all out for proven lads like Parker, Joe Cole, Bellamy y’know. b*stard laughed at me, said no and called me a wheeler dealer.”
KB: “Oh right.”
HR: “I’m a f*cking football manager Levy, f*ck off.”
KB: “Erm, I’ve got the City scouting report here for you here.”
HR: “Put if over there next to that tactics board and the rest of the crap.”
KB: “Alright.”
HR: “I don’t understand what’s wrong with that Levy. He’s obsessed with wage structure and re-sale value, it’s infuriating. Sometimes I wish I was back at Pompey I really do. They would have signed Joey last season when he was available on a free.
KB: “He turned out a little bit sh*t though…”
HR: “Not with me Kev. I’ve known Joey since he was 11, I could have got the best out of him. Top, top player.”
KB: “Right, ‘Arry.”
HR: “and Scotty Parker’s Jamie’s best mate. Player of the season. Another top, top player that Levy wont shell out for. I tell you Kev I’m running out of excuses to tell the media as to why we’re not signing these players.”
KB: “Must be tough.”
HR: “It bloody is, we need to find a way to make Levy pay up.”
KB: “I might have a very cunning plan.”
HR: “Suppose I’m desperate, lets here it then.”
KB: “Just a sec let me get the scout report on City.”
HR: “What the f*ck are tactics going to solve?”
KB: “No ‘Arry don’t worry, you wont have to think about tactics, quite the opposite.”
HR: “What the hell do you mean Kev?”
KB: “Well you see City, they’ve spent loads of money so are actually very good now. Maybe we can use that to our advantage by showing Levy how much better spending loads of money can make you.”
HR: “That’s just common sense Kev.”
KB: “So if we let City spank us then that will show Levy that we really need these players that you want.”
HR: “But how do we do that?”
KB: “According to the scouting report City’s strength lies in midfield. They’re likely to play David Silva, Sergio Aguero and new signing Samir Nasri who all like playing in between the line of midfield and defence. If we leave large open gaps there then they will cause havoc in the space they leave.”
HR: “Alright, but how do we give them all this space?”
KB: “Play Kranjcar and van der Vaart in centre midfield.”
HR: “I like it. But I’ve already told the papers that Modric will be playing. I can’t back down on that I’ve got a reputation to uphold you know.”
KB: “That’s fine just play Modric and Kranjcar in the middle. They will still get overrun if we keep Aaron and Gareth out wide.”
HR: “Alright, so if we get over-run in midfield that will show Levy that he needs to go out and buy Parker.”
KB: “Exactly, and there’s more.”
HR: “More?”
KB: “When I’m getting the lads warmed up later I’ll leave a couple vital stretches out so they will become susceptable to injury.”
HR: “We’ve tried that in pre-season Kev, we’ve got about ten players out and Levy hasn’t budged.”
KB: “But if we lose Rafa and Niko then Joe Cole would be a natural replacement for them.”
HR: “That he would.”
KB: “And say we lose one of our wingers then Bellamy could replace them too.”
HR: “It’s perfect. But if we get battered then wont that look bad on me?”
KB: “Nah just blame Levy not spending any money, maybe pre-season too. Definitely blame Modric. Give them another line about his head not being right, they love all that.”
HR: “You know what Kev? I knew there was reason I keep you about, Triffic.”
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