has anyone

ever dropped themselves in the proper poo, really felt like the ground could of opened up there and then, had 1 of them, i wish i could of kept my mouth shut moments, well i had 1 last night. i was at a wedding reception last night and like at all weddings you get to see people you aint seen for a while, well an old mate and his mrs came up for a chat and everything was going fine untill i asked his wife when the baby was due (being dead serious) only for her to tell me she had the child 3 weeks previous, lol that was a converstion crusher, now these aint real close friends so not knowing this bit of news aint the worst thing but the fact i was out the night we wet the babys head should of made me click, lol i feel a right clown this morning.

The most embarrassing situation I ever had was when myself and my ex and my sister and her husband and some others were out for a meal. My Sister gave us the news that her Daughter Sarah and her Daughters husband Kieran were going to have a baby. Out of the blue I said Whose is it? In a frosty tone my Sister snapped back. Kieran's of course. I have no idea to this day why or where my stupid question came from. It seemed like my lips weren't mine in that nightmare moment . I have no idea why I said it as I know they are solid as a rock. Totally inexplicable but I wanted the ground to open up at that moment as the table went deathly quiet. I quickly tried to change the subject but the damage was done.The rest of the meal was eaten in deathly silence. I was glad when the night was over.

Priceless Baz, Priceless

I was at this function, we were in a group of people when a work mate, called Brian!!! saw the Director of the company come through the door, remember I was in a group of about ten people just making small talk, this guy pipes up with "Oh no not Pryor, I cant stand him, he is useless at his job, I have no idea how he is where he is, he is crap, the group went quite, and this other guy said "Brian have you met Mrs Pryor"
And he said NO

I just put my hand to my head, trying to keep this stupid grim of my face, Brian said to me later did you know that old mole was Mrs Pryor and I say YES,
He said why didn't you stop me, and I said and spoil the moment, no way sunshine. you was on a roll !!!