tescos

Things to do in tesco when bored
by LoneWolf on Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:05 pm

Things to do in supermarkets (especially tesco) (includes walmart for you fatties accross the ocean)
TESCO =D
Things to do in Tesco


01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

04. Move a 'CAUTION -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


05. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and shout:
"Why can't you people just leave me alone!?"

06. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

07. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

08. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say:
"PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

09. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the foetal position and scream:
"NO!......It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

10. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell:
"........there's no toilet paper in here!"

Newly added courtesy of the wall and posted items:
11.) drag race the trolleys around the store
12.) Shout BATTENBURGS at people in a farmer accent
13.) Dress in employee-like clothes (blue shirt black trousers) and when someone asks you for help start talking in a different language or scream" SORRY ME NO SPEAKA ENGLISH"
14.) Sing rude,provocative songs over the intercom (those phones that you use to ask for help e.g. your kid is lost)
15.) Go to the clothes section and get a totally new outfit (with underwear) and wear it to checkout to pay for it
16.) Hide in the clothing racks, wait for someone to come close, and come out asking them "OMFG where the :rude: was I? Atleast i got away from him..." At this point your friend should come out of the rack in underwear shouting "Come back here biatch!" Run around the store as long as possible
17.) Stand next to someone and as a worker walks by shout loudly ":rude: YOU I'm not putting it in my funking pocket, put it in your funking pocket!"
18.)Send religious messages over the loudspeaker (e.g. Jesus loves you wooo)
19.)Ask the employee how much they cost
20.)Stand in the TV section and watch a whole programme, getting very into it (e.g. crying at emotional parts)
21.)Sit in the pillow rack and when someone asks you why tell them you're keeping them warm
22.) Read every magazine in the rack
23.) Have sex, just like there in front of everyone
24.) Use a "master remote" to control all of the televisions
25.) Put porn in the DVD player and watch it on the televisions
25.) Go to the checkout (with no money/not enough for what youre buying), when you find you havent got enough, do the whole "oh no....." bit, then remember "Oh, ive got the loyalty card haven't i....." Then pull out the loyalty card for the other supermarket
26.) When theres no more of whatever you want, say how rubbish the supermarket is (WITHOUT sounding or being abusive to anyone) and say that youre going to boycott the store, quite loudly so everyone can hear you. For extra fun, ask for the manager and repeat the said protest saying that the unavailability of a product has cost them the loyalty of at least one customer.
27.) In the supermarkets where you have to put a quid in the trolleys, release the end one so that you have a train, proceed into store and when challenged say that "i usually buy a lot of stuff"
28.) Complain about the temperature in the freezer department, and the risks associated with the coldness
29.) Play bogies
30.) Take a pet in and talk to it as if it were a partner (e.g. what do oyu think? Is this my colour? That suits you etc)
31.) When they scan your items and prices, claim witchcraft, scream and run.
32.) Throw things around, then before the staff approach you asking to stop cough and claim you have an infectious disease
33.) Tell everyone YOU LOST THE GAME!!!!!!!
34.) Act like you have OCD-come up with your own here...
35.) Play 5-a-side football in the aisles
36.) Stand by the door and charge £5 for entry
37.) Busk
38.) Try and return own brand products from other stores to them

Where would we be without tesco- I ♥ tesco lol

lol i work for tesco i will give a few of them things a try.

nice one lought, cracked me up. REPPED

funny thing is i was in tescos today to buy the daily mail to get free carry on dvd and they had none so i went to custmure service and they had lads on counter and i ask for one explaing theres no papers left and they said so. so i went to manager and spoke to him and he gave me one but since found out its yesterdays one lol i got 2 copys of cary on dont lose your head

yid dont spose you got any carry on at your conivence dvds left om your store its my favorite one

i work in the warehouse mate not the store.

Slightly different take on your one Lought (copy & pasted below) . . . . . . . . . .


Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her
Husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to
a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the
Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is
considering banning you and your family from shopping with
us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all
verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them
in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and
watched what happened.

5.. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign
to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing
department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they
would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could
help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you
people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used
it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen
knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew
where the anti-depressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously,
loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the
'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO!
NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no
toilet paper in here.'

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager