A collection of some of the bone-headed pearlers past and present

Originally Posted by carnivalist
You get the same canards on the TS football phone-ins, although admittedly they can change from time-to time.

A collection of some of the bone-headed pearlers past and present - usually topics in which there was a prevailing herd mentality with the great majority of calls saying the same thing as the presenter.



- Didier Drogba will never make it in the Premier League (during his FIRST season)


- Per Mertesacker will never make it in the Premier League (during his FIRST season).

Mertesacker has won titles, played in a World Cup semi-final and Euro final and has 78 caps for one of the best sides in the world at the age of only 27.


- Everyone but Wenger can see that Arsenal need to sign a goalkeeper (despite Wenger's protests that he had a class young player who would be ready the following season and that it would be reckless to spend large sums on a goalkeeper for a season. Sczecelny anyone?)


- Wenger is a useless foreign tw*t who's past his sell by date. See the failure to sign Gary Cahill for proof.

By contrast with Mertesacker, Cahill has a handful of caps for an inferior international side at a similar age and has never even played in a major semi-final or won a title. Bolton were reportedly desperate to get him off the wage bill, but no-one else wanted to sign him either - until Chelsea (or that renkowned football sage, Roman Abramovich) came in for him. He now can't even get into Chelsea's first team.


- Fabio Capello is a useless foreign tw*t.

Seven Serie A titles with three different clubs (missed out on an eighth by a single point). Two La Liga titles, one Champions League title, one UEFA cup title, one Supercup title.


- Sven Goran Erikkson is a useless foreign tw*t.

Best record of any England manager in foreign tournaments - 3rd highest win percentage. Took over in the middle of disastrous campaign and qualified us for Japan/Korea 2002 when we looked dead and buried, starting with a 5-1 away victory against subsequent finalists Germany, who had previously dominated against us at Wembley under Keegan.

5 league titles with Benfica, Gothenburg and Lazio. Two UEFA cup titles (one with rank outsiders Gothenburg) One Cup-Winners cup title. Three or four domestic cup wins. I'm sure I've missed a few out too. Two Champons League finals.


- Terry Venables is God who if he hadn't been stabbed in the back by the FA suits would've led England to unprecedented success.

"Stabbed in the back" as in facing a serious charge in court, after which he was banned from being a company director and described as "fundamentally dishonest" by a HIgh Court Judge. Two trophies in 25 years as a manager. One of those taking over a Barcelona side built by Menotti which lost the title by a point the year before he took over. Scraped his way to the European Cup final, losing to the longest-odds outsider in history in the final, his side missing EVERY penalty in the shoot-out. Sacked after a campaign in which he nearly lost to a side from Albania and lost home and away to Dundee United.

Third lowest win percentage of any England manager (tenths of a percent greater than the derided Graham Taylor, despite playing the lowest proportion of competitive matches.) Only reached the semi-final of a home tournament - a record matched by 100% of European Championship, World Cup and Copa America hosts at that time. Failed to beat a Germany missing five first choice players, including the World Class Klinsmann, Kohler and Hassler - the spine of the team. Nearly lost to Switzerland and Scotland and would have lost to Spain were it not for a scandalous performance by the referee, bitterly complained about by now Sorting Gijon manager and then Spain manager Clemente to this day.


- England 4- Holland 1 is the Best Performance By An England Team Bar the 1966 World Cup (see-above)

The Holland side beaten by England were given a hugely over-inflated reputation, largely based on a play-off victory against an ancient Republic of Ireland side which was televised in the UK, as it was played at Anfield and involved a number of British based players. None of the "knowledgeable" callers ever ask the obvious question as to how come Holland only managed to qualify via a playoff - let alone noticing the fact that Holland nearly missed out on even that route, pipping Rumania on goal-difference by a solitary goal to second place in their qualifying group.

Moreover the side was riven by an Ajax based race war, culminating in the black midfielder Edgar Davids being sent home after he furiously attacked Hiddink for allegedly taking the white players views into account and ignoring those of the black players. The Holland side that we orgasmically judge ourselves against for evermore, scored TWO goals in the entire tournament and crashed out at the group stage.


- Harry Redknapp is Jesus. (One trophy in 20-odd years of management).


- England have a Golden generation equal to the best in the world.


- FIFA are useless foreign tw*ts who denied us the World Cup out of spite, just because they hate us.

Despite the fact that FIFA had stated long before that they were giving priority to developing football nations and that on that basis, pundits with half a brain like Tim Vickery, were warning long before that it was a futile bid.


- FIFA are useless foreign ***** who are too out of touch to realise that Video Technology is a no-brainer that works perfectly in other sports.

Despite the fact that video evidence is still controversial in cricket where it has encroached from line decisions into LBW and slowed the game down - just as FIFA state they are wary of.


- Barcelona wouldn't last five minutes in the Premier League with that tippy-tappy Bullsh*t they play in the uncompetitive La Liga, where they play cannon fodder most weeks (like Athletic Bilbao, five places and 22 points behind Barca, who just handed the best team in England their ars*s on a plate).


- X, Y, Z manager (usually Wenger) is a useless tw*t for being careful with money and not spending big in the transfer market.

- Overspending and debt by English clubs is an unsustainable scandal.


- Fans being priced out of the game is an unsustainable scandal.


- Isn't it wonderful that the Premier League is the richest Leaue in the World?


I could go on.

I say again, I don't buy this "football phone-in callers are more well-informed" argument.
I haven't commented on this post yet with all last night's hoohar, but this is a truly brilliant post and should be pinned to the wall in the TalkSPORT Studio and quoted from on a regular basis.

There's not much chance of it though as they will have to chop half the daytime output of callers still peddling the myth.

Well done Carnivalist.

Just read over this again while looking for the post of Diff's that I wanted to respond to and noticed a couple of factual errors I made while arguing that the Dutch side of 1996 was far worse than many Venables groupies acknowledge and that the supposedly legendary 4-1 must be seen in that context.

They actually scored three goals in the entire tournament, not two (whoop-de-doo) and they didn't crash out at the group stage, but qualified on goal difference above the mighty Scotland, before going out to France 0-0 on penalties. It was that game that took place at Anfield and not their playoff against Ireland, although that playoff was televised here (on the BBC IIRC). Anyone who watched the Netherlands/France game will recall having required an intravenous supply of amphetamines simply to stay awake - its no surprise that I blotted it out of my memory.

However the essential point still stands - the Dutch side of Euro 96 was poor and the mythology that surrounds the 4-1 "masterminded" by so-called "master tactician" Venables, whose England were booed off the pitch in a friendly not all that long before (versus one of the scandinavian nations IIRC) is way over the top.

In fact IMO that tournament was poor full stop. Most of the sides were in some kind of crisis, or flawed in some way. Germany had a massive injury problem, as I mentioned before, on top of which Effenberg had been banned by the German FA and France were in transition, introducing young players like Zidane, who showed little sign of the player he would become.

I actually went to all of Portugal's matches (for no other reason that tickets were easy to get and all their games were in the same area). Their team was potentially very good, with their midfield containing the likes of Paolo Sosa, Rui Costa and Conceicao, but they were severely handicapped by the rather unfortunate problem of having a bunch of somewhat ineffectual midgets up front, with Cadete being out of favour for some reason. Consequently they were beaten relatively easily in the quarter-final by a limited Czech side who scored through Poborsky against the run of play and then never ventured beyond the half-way line for the rest of the game, safe in the knowledge that the likes of the Pintos couldn't have hit a barn door if they were standing on the handle.

Spain were probably up there, but I'm afraid I have to admit that any side drawn against us at Wembley with that referee would have needed to score four legitimate goals to scrape a 1-0 win. I still recall Gascoigne hacking down Alfonso in the box with astonishment at the referee's failure to award Spain a penalty. I can't recall seeing a more blatant foul that wasn't given in any game. Then again we had another homer decision against Germany - Moeller's inexplicably disallowed Golden Goal, often forgotten in the mythology of Gascoigne's near-miss.

There's a reason why home advantage in an international tournament has been statistically proven to give teams such a massive head start. Reaching the semi-final is the least a major nation should expect - at least it was in 1996 - and Venables getting us to the semis was no great achievement.

Don't believe the hype about Venables and Euro '96, despite what the so-called "experts say